5 Finger Discount.

Why do I even leave the house some days? My kid's have to be plotting against me. Standing at the Zeller's exit Liv screams..."STOP MOM, you didn't pay for anything!"

I didn't know if I should laugh, cry or run. And all I could think of was whether or not I had kept the reciept for the band aids and nylons I had in my purse from Shopper's.

I picked a winner!

I love how we had 20 preschool aged children at the Egg Hunt today, and my husband is the ONLY one who popped a piece of play-doh into his mouth. I am a proud wife today.

Shit Storm. Literally.

There is nothing like an explosive diaper all over your kid, yourself and a shopping cart to remind you that you haven't quite reached SuperMom status. I don't think the gagging 4 year old helped either.

Then, to top it off, when I arrive home to deal with the disaster, I realize that I was so busy trying to not get crap all over the carseat, that I had left the $84 worth of painting supplies and my PURSE in the cart. Which was sitting in the parking lot at Rona. So, instead of unloading the stinky kid, I had to drive him, SCREAMING back to the store. Thank God nobody had touched it. Although, if you had seen a cart full of poop, would you bother trying to get to the purse?

Smart kid. Cheeky, but smart.

-Alyvia, walking past a man outside the store smoking, definately still within earshot.
"Ew, that smoke is gross. I need to go home and brush my lungs now."

I just want her to remember that when it's cool to poison your body.

Made in China

"Don't put Dollar Store toys in your mouth. They're made in China, and you'll die from the poisons they have in them".

Yes, my kid just said that to your kid. And no, I am not going to correct her. She's bang on.

It's all in the delivery.

Is it only my child that says things at the most inopportune times? Why, in line at the grocery store, do you have to ask, "How come you always beat us at dinner?".


Only I understand that you mean I eat faster than you do.

Stinky Scape Goat

I don't want to encourage Pierce to say "No", but Liv has really found a way to make his "Yes" work for her.

In a room full of people at the airport, she farted, turned to her brother and asked "Pierce, was that you?".

Big Boy

I tried to tell myself it couldn't be, but it is.

Pierce yells "Whoa!" at his boy parts everytime his diaper comes off. C'mon buddy, nobody likes a showoff.