Just when I think I'm getting the hang of this gig...

Sometimes the slow cooker works better if you plug it in. Pouring coffee isn't something you should multi task, and a 3 year old should never be left alone with a 2 year old and an orange marker. Today is just full of lessons learned, and it's only 11 am.

What a helper.

Why yes Pierce, I can see what a good job you did when you dipped the broom into the dirty water and mopped the dining room floor! Here, let me just use a towel to soak up the 3 litre puddle you slipped in on your way to wash my window with a diaper wipe. Those hardly smudge at all, right? That's ok though, I'll have plenty of time to clean the smears off the window while you're keeping busy in the bathroom emptying Nixon's baby wash onto the bath mat. Oh, and don't give it a second thought Buddy, peeing on the front doorstep while the neighbor's realtor drives up with potential buyers is nothing people haven't seen before, and besides, its hard to use the bathroom when your Mom is in there cleaning the floor. Just come on back in when you're done. While I'm hosing the urine off the concrete steps, why don't you go ahead and help yourself to a little snack? I'll get to the glass of juice you just spilled onto your freshly washed dining room floor in a minute, I know how upsetting it can be when all your hard work goes to waste.

Tell it like it is.

I guess I'm not hiding my bad mood as well as I thought today.

Liv- "Mom, I would rather lay in a bathtub full of lava or let Pierce beat me up with a hockey stick than hang out with you when you're this grumpy."

Sleep is our friend, right kids?

Dear Children,
Remember our arrangement? You sleep through the night and I don't come unglued on you. If you're not going to hold up your end of the bargain, no promises from me.

Mommy's gonna lose it.