My Fat Pants...

Can I brag about being back in my pre-pregnancy jeans if they are actually the jeans I wore 2 pregnancies ago, when I hadn't lost the weight from my first pregnancy?

Yes? Ok, good.

How about if my muffin top spilling out over the top of these jeans is semi-covered by a nice jacket? Still good to go?

Alright,what if I have to undo the top button to sit, walk, breathe or talk on the phone, and the second I close the front door, I peel them off and put pajamas on?

You know what? I'm gonna count it. So, yay for me, I'm back in my too tight, fat squeezing pre-pregancy jeans. Yippee!

No really, I don't care.

Are you kidding me?!?

It's a pregnant belly, not an invitation for your opinion.

I ordered a latte, not a tequila shot, so put your filter on, and walk away.

I don't know what it is about me that invites people's advice, but I have to say, in my hormonal state, the next stranger to "remind" me of what it is me, my children, or my fetus needs may have a stage 3 meltdown on their hands. I've kept the two I have alive for this long, I think I'm doing ok.

C'mon Now People...

It happens everytime. I get pregnant, and everyone around me loses their filter.
"Whoa, you're huge" is NOT a socially appropriate greeting to ANYONE, and "Are you sure you can handle another one" while my kids are dismantling a store DOES NOT instill confidence.
Stick with a polite smile and avoid eye contact.
Its better for both of us.

It's Reached the Point...

I have 14 weeks to go, and I already miss having a space between my thighs, bras that fit, and pants with buttons and zippers.

This baby had better be as cute as the last two.

I may be fat, but you're inappropriate.

Fair Warning:
The next person to see me in public and say "Christmas Baby?", will be rammed with my shopping cart repeatedly.

Pregnancy Woes. Do not read unless you want to feel sorry for me.

I have a serious back ache.

I sure would love a hot bath, unfortunately, I have the world's smallest tub, and with this weight gain, I feel like I would need to Crisco my hips to ever get back out.

I am tired. Reminding me doesn't actually help.

The next person who greets me with, "You look so tired", has to take my kids for a full 24 hours while I sleep.

Consider yourselves warned.

Here we grow again.

Welcome back 20 lbs. I sure appreciate you joining me again, and bringing 3 of your friends.

Ugh. Looks like I'll be spending some time with Jillian next year.

Name that baby...

Probably won't ask Liv for baby name help again.

Not that Snooky isn't a good name for a baby, but it worries me that her father is letting her run the remote when I'm not home.

Fatter by the minute

Elastic waistbands are a dangerous thing this time of year.

Halfway!

Got to see the baby bean today! Another big baby with a massive head. Fantastic.

All looked good though. A healthy baby, measuring about 2 weeks ahead of schedule.

I get it. I'm pregnant.

When you say, " Whoa! Do they know what's causing that?!".

I want to punch you in the face.

Its my third, don't talk to me like I'm a Duggar.

You can't teach this kind of empathy.

I often wonder what Liv is thinking about when she's quiet. Tonight, I got some insight.
While sitting quietly coloring she says. "I feel bad for people sometimes. "
Me: "That's called empathy Liv. That's good, it means you care. Who is it you feel bad for?"
Liv- "Well it's not actually a person. I feel bad for animals when we eat them, and your vagina when you push that baby out".

Not sure how the two tie together, but I appreciate the concern.

Fat Pants

I am regretting getting rid of ALL of my fat clothes.
My wardrobe is shrinking by the day, and my stomach is most certainly not.

Freak me out.

You know what is pretty much no fun at all?
Learning about, reading about and discussing almost every possible genetic defect known, while pregnant.
You know what makes it worse?
Dr. Google.